If you were looking for a lazy and lofty child in my class, it would be me. I must have been hardly 8 years of age. Teachers never hated me – they just did not want me in their class. I was a very disinterested child who thought going to school was a big punishment in life. I would never carry the required books and nor would I pay attention in class. The teacher was always annoyed by me. Most teachers had a string of adjectives for me. The one that stuck for a long time was – “Good for nothing”. I got used to it. Nobody seemed to understand my predicament. I just would not keep quiet for more than a minute or two. I was so fat that even my slightest move would shake the entire Desk.
One day, as my Teacher kept babbling something – I was getting fidgety. I must have really got on her nerves because she almost screamed – “You Gujarati Pig!” I was petrified. Honestly, I did not mind that PIG part but the tag of Gujarati along with that was totally unnecessary. That hurt me. She implied that my Dad, mom, sisters, brother, uncles, Aunties and all other special people of my world were PIGS. I was sulking all the way home. My mom was waiting by the door. As I neared her, my voice became shrill. I exploded – “Mom, Teacher called me a Gujarati Pig!”. She did not respond. I repeated my statement. She did not seem to be bothered. She kept scanning me through her big eyes from top to bottom. I almost threw a tantrum this time and repeated – “Mom, Teacher called me a Gujarati Pig!”. She calmly said – “I heard you the first time itself. I am just searching for that label of Gujarati pig. Where has it stuck on you?” A big lesson that I learned that day. Labels of negativity will stick to us only if we give them the permission to stick to us.
She explained how negative statements will torment us only when we think about them. I had to learn to ignore such remarks. What she said next was a shocker. “Son, tomorrow the first thing you will do at school is to apologize to her”. I dissented. “Why should I? I have not called her any such thing. It is she who should apologize to me”. Wisdom see to spill out again from her lips. She said – “Two things always happen to us. Things that we can control and those that we can’t control. We need to focus only on what we can control. You can’t control your teacher in any way. Still, you have made a mistake by annoying her and that is my she made such a nasty remark. It’s on you now to go and apologize for that wrong done by you”. I sheepishly agreed. The next day I went to school and apologized for my fault and all ended well. These two lessons I will never forget for the rest of my life:
- Labels of negativity will stick to us only when we give permission for them to stick to us.
- Between things we can control and those we can’t control, we must focus on what we can control.